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Maxi and Muggsy talking to Red in Convent Garden ( Part 1)
NF: So this is your first interview with the band?

Maxi: Yeah.

NF: We feel all special, if you do go on and make it big..

Maxi: It’ll be the first ever interview.

Muggsy: Just the two of us as well.

NF: That’s okay. We couldn’t handle all five of you. Trying to transcribe five different voices that I don’t recognize, hah.

NF: Okay, we do have the boring questions first. Obviously, the ones about the band that we do have to ask.

Maxi: Okay. No problem.

NF: How did Nothin’ To Lose come about?

Maxi: Basically it started with Mick, the lead guitarist. He came down from Sunderland where he originally had the band. He was
basically tired of all the members not being committed enough where he lived so he moved down to London and met us all one by one
and decided that we should all be in the band together.

Muggsy: He met us all at the Motley Crue reunion gig.

Maxi: Oh yeah, actually. The first time we all met was there as well. I think I swore at you [Muggsy] or something I can’t remember.
He thought I was a wanker at first.

NF: What a way to make a first impression.

Muggsy: Haha, yeah, you did.

NF: How would you describe your music to someone who has never heard you before?

Muggsy: Some people like to call us ‘cock rock’ with a 2005 twist but I don’t like that at all. When people ask me, I just say Guns ‘N’
Roses, Iron Maiden but not so much big hair and spandex.

Maxi: Yeah.

Muggsy: Unfortunately, the closest band that we are to is actually The Darkness.

NF: Wow.

Muggsy: That’s mostly because of the guitars, not the singing..

Maxi: Don’t worry, not the singing. I don’t sound anything like him at all.

NF: I couldn’t imagine that.

Muggsy: That would suck.

NF: They are very distinct of the glam, sleaze bands of the time.

Maxi: Yeah. A lot of the bands that are around at the moment are going for the really high vocals or the more too modern and I think I
have something half way in between, the sleazy rock ‘n’ roll thing.

Muggsy: Think Vince Neil..

Maxi: With his balls still because he sounded like a little boy..

Muggsy: ..mixed with Marilyn Manson. Vince Neil with more of that Eighties thing and Marilyn Manson with more of that
‘aaaaarrrggghhhh!’

NF: Haha, I don’t know how I’m going to transcribe that..

Muggsy: [Laughs], just write ‘aaa rrr ggg hhh.’

NF: So you didn’t actually decide on the name, you just went with the name that Mick had already chosen. Can you tell us how that
came about?

Maxi: It’s a bad KISS song..

Muggsy: A really, really bad KISS song.

Maxi: He’s a huge KISS fan and it was
because of the song and also because we
thought it was a cool name. When he first
came down, we were going to change the
name to something else so that we wouldn’t
be associated but..

Muggsy: Some of the other names were just
terrible!


Maxi: One that he came up with was ‘The Little Devils’, which we thought was really bad. So we just said ‘fuck it’.

Muggsy: I mean, what would our album cover be if we were called ‘The Little Devils’? You know those little plush devils that you can
get for Valentine’s Day when you are fourteen? It would have been like that with a guitar and that would suck.

Maxi: There was ‘New Tattoo’ as an option as well, which is a Motley Crue song.

Muggsy: And with ‘Nothin’ To Lose’, it is a KISS song that nobody really knows. With ‘New Tattoo’ everyone would have thought we
were a cover or tribute band to Motley Crue, but ‘Nothin’ To Lose’ nobody knows.

NF: I must admit, I’ve never heard of it.

Maxi: I’m a huge KISS fan and I’d never heard of it either.

NF: Okay, what is your favourite song to perform and why?

Maxi: I’d probably say ‘Wasted’ because it has almost become like our signature song.

Muggsy: Our ‘Rock ‘N’ Roll All Night.’

Maxi: Everyone knows the words to that and even if they don’t, they can pick them really quickly. And because we play so many bars
and clubs, everyone is wasted.

Muggsy: I like ‘Cheap And Nasty’, because I get a little bass bit on my own. I’m an exhibitionist and a bassist and those two things
clash, so when I get a little bass bit on my own..

NF: That’s good that you get your moment to shine..

Muggsy: Even though I fucked it up last time. I had a bit too much to drink last time and I played the wrong strings and then I missed
the strings..

NF: Apparently everyone was wasted. [Everyone laughs.] What is your favourite song that you have written?

Maxi: We haven’t got any written songs yet.

Muggsy: Mick came down from Sunderland with all the songs written and we’ve only been together for three months. We have one
new one called ‘If You Want To Fight, You’ve Got It.’

Maxi: Mick writes most of the songs but we have made some changes. I’ve made some lyric changes, even though he’s not too
interested in them. When it comes down to it, he can’t stop me, I can sing whatever the hell I like! We are working on some new songs
right now, but because we have been gigging so much, it’s almost like the time we do have, we are really focused on..




















NF: They could be pretty close to that now..

Muggsy: Yeah, I know, that is why we have to get on with this really quickly!

NF: ..in the next five minutes.

[Everyone laughs.]

Maxi: I’d probably say Motley Crue. I got in to them when I was quite young and they were one of the reasons that I wanted to be in a
band basically. It would just be really cool to play with them, even though they are all “sober” now. Though I am pretty sure they’re not
and I’m pretty sure that we could change that.

NF: What was the first album that you brought? Was it Motley Crue?

Maxi: They were the first album when I started really getting in to music, but the first album that I actually brought was ‘Iron Maiden –
Number Of The Beast’ because I thought the album cover looked really cool.

Muggsy: My girlfriend threw that at my head when we broke up, so I stole it and that’s how I got in to Iron Maiden. The first album I
ever brought was actually ‘Kid Rock – Devil without A Cause’. It’s not really the stuff I like now but it is what got me in to music. I
actually shop lifted it, got caught and then got fucked by my parents, then I went back and brought it the next day and it was actually
pretty good. I like Kid Rock.

NF: I like some of his material, mostly the older stuff.

Maxi: Yeah, the song he did with Sheryl Crow was pretty dire!

Muggsy: The older stuff was a lot like Beastie Boys.

NF: Okay, tell us a funny story from one of your shows.

Maxi: Oh god. We can’t remember most of them!

Muggsy: Most of our funny stories come from when we’re not doing
shows but when we are walking around as the band..

Maxi: Or after shows..

Muggsy: We don’t remember the shows.

Maxi: My mate, Laurence’s party was kinda funny. I couldn’t even see,
I was so wasted. I can’t even remember going on stage.

Muggsy: I got punched in the bollocks, he [Maxi] snorted too much
cocaine and then feel in to the toilets going, ‘I’m fucked,’ and then we
got on stage. My foot was messed up; we had a drummer who didn’t know
the songs. Then afterwards we snorted loads of cocaine and Jack Daniels
at the same time and started spitting on each other, me and Max and then
he [Maxi] got ill for a week.

Maxi: That’s not really funny, it’s actually depressing!

Muggsy: Not for me, I was fine! I think when you walk around as a band; it makes people want to talk to you. We went to this one
party and it was shit, we walked in as a band. We weren’t posing or some shit, like some other bands do.

Maxi: [Whispers] Like ‘Towers Of London’.

Muggsy: Don’t say that out loud, they are writing this shit down! We ended up going in a taxi to all these different parties with this really
annoying porn star called ***** ****.

Maxi: Apparently she is London’s premiere porn star or something.

Muggsy: I’d never heard of her. But she brought us loads of stuff, like Jack Daniels and cocaine and we went back to her place.

Maxi: She puts on an American accent even though she is English.

Muggsy: She’s fucking annoying, she really is.

Maxi: At first we thought it was really good because we were getting all this free stuff but then we realized that it just wasn’t worth it to
put up with her.

Muggsy: We were all in the taxi with her ad she started giving us all massages and then for some reason suddenly started delving in to
her family’s problems.

Maxi: And she started using all these big words to try and make herself sound intelligent.

Muggsy: But she wasn’t. And then we went to this party and then back to her house and she had already taken our guitarist back to her
house to have fun with. So she is giving us cocaine and me and Max are just sitting there and thinking that she is going to shag the
guitarist, so we aren’t going to get laid so we kept taking her cocaine. Every time she would turn around, we’d get out a credit card and
just slide a big mound of her cocaine to our side of the table and then ask if we can have some more of her cocaine and she would
always say ‘okay’.

Maxi: Let’s hope she doesn’t read Noizefront. She might try to get out a hit on us.

[Everyone laughs].

NF: We can leave out her name.

Muggsy: Haha, don’t! I’m devilishly.. Why did I just use that word?? I’m very proud of doing that.

NF: Once the interview is finished, anything that you want to take out, that you regret saying, you can do so.

Maxi & Muggsy: Nah, that’s okay.

Maxi: We have no shame.

NF: It makes for a great interview that way. Okay, you list Faster Pussycat, Iggy Pop and Motorhead as some of your band influences.

Maxi: I put in Iggy Pop as a vocal influence.

Muggsy: I’ve never heard any Iggy Pop songs in my life.

Maxi: You need to be educated, my friend.

NF: So how did you find yourself connecting with these particular Eighties bands?

Maxi: How do you mean, how did we come across them?

NF [Red]: Well, yeah. I’m 32 years old..

NF [Em]: No, you’re 33..

Muggsy: She’s trying to lie now!

NF [Red]: Shit, I am 33! But the things that you play when you Dj and the things that you list were popular when I was in high school. I
find that really odd that the younger generation listen to what I did at school.

Maxi: Basically, well my dad used to work for Alice Cooper; he was the tour manager for Alice Cooper when I was younger. This was
at a stage of my life when I didn’t really appreciate that because I was only four or five, so it didn’t mean anything to me. But when I
found out about this stuff, I got in to it. Whenever I get in to a kind of music, I always try to find out as much as I can about it, like
other bands that are connected. Eventually I just found that the whole area of music was something that I really clicked with and I just
got in to it straight away. Also there is huge, well at one point it was smaller, but now there is a huge glam, rock ‘n’ roll scene and it is
getting really big in London right now, building up with all the clubs.

Muggsy: I just like it because it was either that or a mix between the Stereophonics or Keane.

Maxi: Yeah, there is that as well.

NF: The Nineties were pretty bad.

Muggsy: There was also that whole Britpop thing that happened which was bad.

Maxi: So you had to look to the Eighties to get away from it.

Muggsy: I liked Kid Rock and I liked the heavy guitars and from there I got in to Metallica and then I realized I didn’t like it getting any
heavier than that, like Children Of Bodom and everything and I’m not too keen on the really, really Eighties cheesy shit like Winger or..

Maxi: Or Striper and stuff. That sucked. They crossed the line.

NF: That’s why we asked, because you like the glam sleaze, like Faster Pussycat and Guns ‘N’ Roses. These bands are a lot darker, as
opposed to the Bubble gum rock that was going on at the time.

Muggsy: Big hair and stuff. Where every song starts with ‘She’s got,’ or ‘She had a cocaine tongue..’

Maxi: Sounds like our band.

[Everyone laughs.]

Muggsy: We’re being recorded, you cunt. I have a ‘Youth Gone Wild’ tattoo actually. I’m going to get ‘Kick Start’ across my back.
Maybe. Maybe.

NF: What advice would you give to someone who was looking to get in to a band or in to the music business?

Maxi: Well, if you know anyone that has any advice on getting in to the music industry, then please tell us! [He laughs.] Starting a band.
Well, I don’t know, I’ve been in bands before but it has just basically been really short stints of playing bass at the back and that. Just
basically, if you’re offered it..Well, I’ve been offered things before and I always said that I wasn’t too sure because I felt really
intimidated by the idea. When this came along I just decided that I was going to go for it and basically just throw caution to the wind.






























has ‘Demise Of Sanity’. And that songs just fucking rocks, I’ve done some really stupid things to that song. The rest of the album
sucks. I didn’t mean it! I’ve just done some really stupid things to that song so it is nostalgic for me.

Maxi: I’d probably say Motley Crue – Shout At The Devil because that was the album when I first really got in to all this, so it stuck
with me.

NF: That is definitely one of the hardest questions we ask, a lot of them we couldn’t answer.

Maxi: I’d say that one for now, but if I was ever on that desert island with that one CD, I’d probably realize I hate that album!

NF: It would get old really quickly. Okay, what is the one CD that should never have been made?

Muggsy: Our demo! Hold on, what about the rest of all the other bands demos and CDs, what am I talking about?

Maxi: God, I don’t know, there is so many to choose from.

Muggsy: Oh, I know, I know! St Anger by Metallica.

Maxi: That’s a fucking crap album. One album I can think of basically is anything ever written by Coldplay. Just because he doesn’t
deserve to get that successful by being so depressing.

Muggsy: There are loads of CD’s that should never have been made. Any drum and bass CD.

Maxi: That’s true and I agree but I’m sticking with any Coldplay CD.

NF: Have you ever been sent anything weird or strange by a fan?

Maxi: Actually, it isn’t really anything weird but we get sent pictures on our MySpace page.

Muggsy: I have that on my desktop! It isn’t that weird, just some tart who has stickers across her nipples.

Maxi: It’s quite amusing. I get a lot of web cam pictures. I got this one from a girl who was wearing bra and pants but she had ‘Nothin’
To Lose’ written across her stomach, but she spelt ‘Lose’ wrong, so she had ‘Nothin’ To Loose’.

Muggsy: I think we’ve had weirder stuff sent to us individually before we were in a band. The weirdest thing I’ve ever had sent to me
was my actual girlfriend who swam to my house, because I live on a houseboat. She was pissed and she swam across the River
Thames and she was hanging on to my window, knocking on the window and I didn’t wake up but my sister did and came and told me
that my girlfriend was at the window so I opened it and said, ‘What the fuck re you doing at my window?’ And she said, ‘I want to talk
to you, I don’t want to go out with you anymore.’ This was four o’clock in the morning on my sixteenth birthday and I was like, ‘Why
don’t you just ring me like normal people?’ She was also the one who tried to bite my dick off on New Year’s Eve, but we won’t go in
to that.

Maxi: That’s a whole different kettle of fish.

NF: Wow..

Muggsy: I really hope she reads this. [Everyone laughs.] I’ve told everyone else; everyone I know knows that story and I wonder if it
has got back to her yet.

NF: Why swim across the Thames?

Maxi: You’d think she’d come by the shore.

Muggsy: There is a road that leads to my house.

Maxi: Maybe she just really wanted to make a strong impression.

Muggsy: I don’t know, she’s fucked. She lied about being pregnant to me so I would have to keep the baby and spite my family and she
said ‘Yeah, I’ll keep this baby just to spite your family.’ I have two parents who work and have a flat and you live in a flat with your
mum, you are going to be a lot more fucked than I am. The next thing you know she’s saying, ‘It’s not true, it’s not true!’

NF: Do you have any groupies yet?

Maxi: I don’t know. I had a girlfriend up until about two weeks ago so that was basically..

Muggsy: That was good! I was fine when Max had a girlfriend because that gives the rest of us a chance to get laid. Now he’s like, ‘I
broke up with my girlfriend,’ and I went fucking mad, ‘what are you doing, you cunt? It was fine when you were going out with
someone, but now you’re single and everyone knows you’re single, so what the fuck are we supposed to do? I want to get laid as well,
for fuck’s sake, I’m a bassist! You completely fucked any chance of me every getting laid ever again!’

Maxi: I’m sure though the majority of the time I wasn’t sleeping with my girlfriend, we were just going and getting drunk.

Muggsy: Yeah, I was sleeping with your girlfriend.

Maxi: Oh, shit.

Muggsy: It was good man, trust me. That thing she does with her tongue, wahey!

Maxi: I think the person that gets the most groupies is probably Mick.

Muggsy: Probably Mick? It’s a definite fact. He always goes home with a girl. I think at the moment, the people who want to sleep with
us, just want to sleep with us.

Maxi: Yeah. It hasn’t got to that level yet. I hope we do though, just for the novelty value.

Muggsy: To be honest, we’ve only done seven gigs. I’ve been wanting to be in a band for three years and now that I’m in a band,
people are expecting to see me and most of my friends are coming down, but I can’t shag them.

Maxi: Oh, wait. Should we go in to the story about your immediate family and how..

Muggsy: Oh fuck. Well, because most of the people that come down to our gigs are either my friends or family, yeah, it only took one
gig and one party for my guitarist to shag my best friend, my sister, my cousin and attempt to shag my best friend in the whole wide
world, Sania. Then Jake shagged my sister, my best friend and attempted to shag the other best friend of mine.

Maxi: And attempted to shag your ex girlfriend as well.

Muggsy: Yeah, and then my best friend in the world was trying to shag Max and it’s just like, for fuck’s sake. They get in to all these
problems and they all come to me to try and get me to sort it out and I’ve told them, if they shag anyone else that I know, it’s your own
fucking problem, yeah, if they steal your leg, don’t come running to me asking for a fucking paracetamol. If you’re going to do it, it’s
not my fucking problem.

Maxi: Can I get your gran’s number by the way?

Muggsy: They are both dead. You fucker.

Maxi: I know.

[Everyone laughs.]

Muggsy: Argh! They’ve been dead for ages, they don’t even have any flesh on them!

Maxi: Munging.

Muggsy: Shall we tell them about munging?

NF: We have this rule that if you start something, you have to finish…

Muggsy: I was going to tell them anyway. Last week my friend was telling me, there is this new craze where you go to a graveyard and
you open up a freshly buried corpse and then you fuck it and come inside it and the other person jumps on the stomach and you
measure how far your spunk comes out.

Maxi: I really don’t think that would happen.

Muggsy: It would.

Maxi: It wouldn’t.

NF: It won’t happen because corpses, when they are buried, actually do explode.

Muggsy: Whoa.

Maxi: Ah, wicked.

Muggsy: I can’t say I’ve done it, so I don’t want you to think I have, it’s just what..

Maxi: Say it a bit louder and they might believe you.

Muggsy: It’s true!

NF: It sounds like an urban legend because I doubt that anywhere the new craze would suddenly be necrophilia.

Maxi: It sounds like a lot of effort.

Muggsy: You can’t go and say that about Mick and then put it on the internet about him and his blow up dolls and spunking in them.
There are always girls he can find that are desperate for cock, he doesn’t need blow-up dolls to do it, it costs more, and girls will do it
for free. If he goes to Decadence tonight, he’ll get someone else to do it. And you [Maxi] and me can’t get laid anymore because we
take too many drugs, there is no possible way that we are going to get it up. I was in the Crobar the other week and he [Maxi] comes
running out of the bathroom going, ‘My willy’s gone really small!’

NF: That does insinuate that it wasn’t always really small then.

Maxi: Yeah, exactly.

Muggsy: I’ve never seen his cock before.

NF: But for girls who are going to read the interview..

Muggsy: Yes, we’ve all got cocks that can scratch our backs!

NF: you’ll have all the girls pouring in now.

Maxi: Yeah, I’m sure with all the corpse stories.

Muggsy: And snorting cocaine.

NF: This is our kind of interview, not only have we got fetish but lewd conversations about cock.

Muggsy: Don’t worry. We’ve got a lot more.

Muggsy: The reason you went for it was the first time the band went out all together, we got arrested, thrown across cars, whiskey
thrown in our faces, threw up, fell asleep in flowers beds..

Maxi: No, that was you..

Muggsy: You were there..

Maxi: You fell asleep..

Muggsy: Rock ‘N’ Roll. Cunt.

NF: Why did you get arrested?

Muggsy: Because I took all my clothes off. Well, I didn’t actually get arrested.

Maxi: You got chased around Primrose Hill.

Muggsy: We were in Primrose Hill and we stopped some kebab vans that were selling magic mushrooms, something like that, I don’t
know, I was so wasted, so I took my clothes off and started hopping in front of the police car telling them that I shafted their wives.

Maxi: And I stood a safe distance away, having decided that it was a bad idea.

Muggsy: Yeah and then you got jacked. That’s why we decided we didn’t like our rhythm guitarist. I was jumping around on the
pavement and these two chavs drove passed on a moped and I ran off laughing, thinking ‘Haha, come and chase me, I’m in so much
trouble now..’ And they actually stopped and tried to steal his [Maxi] bag off his shoulder and I was hiding around the corner having a
piss.

Maxi: The rhythm guitarist was with me and I saw these two guys and thought they were obviously going to try something, so at least I’
ve got my guitarist watching my back. So I turned around and he had run off.

Muggsy: I was still around the corner having a piss and I turned and saw the rhythm guitarist running, so I shouted to him to ask where
the fuck he was going, he says, ‘Max has just been jacked!’

Maxi: At that point I just thought fuck him. I have no problem with him whatsoever now, but it really just wasn’t working.

Muggsy: He was alright, but we just had differences.

Maxi: And he didn’t drink and I didn’t trust him.

Muggsy: Don’t put that in because Mick doesn’t drink..

Maxi: But he knows I don’t trust him. [He laughs.]

Muggsy: Okay, keep going!

NF: What’s the one CD you can’t live without?

Maxi: I’ll let you [Muggsy] go first, so I can think.

Muggsy: Erm..I don’t know. That’s a good answer. Don’t ask me this question! Ah, probably Black Label Society, 1990 Eternal, just
because that has ‘Demise Of Sanity’. And that songs just fucking rocks, I’ve done some really stupid things to that song. The rest of the
album sucks. I didn’t mean it! I’ve just done some really stupid things to that song so it is nostalgic for me.

Maxi: I’d probably say Motley Crue – Shout At The Devil because that was the album when I first really got in to all this, so it stuck
with me.

NF: That is definitely one of the hardest questions we ask, a lot of them we couldn’t answer.

Maxi: I’d say that one for now, but if I was ever on that desert island with that one CD, I’d probably realize I hate that album!

NF: It would get old really quickly. Okay, what is the one CD that should never have been made?

Muggsy: Our demo! Hold on, what about the rest of all the other bands demos and CDs, what am I talking about?

Maxi: God, I don’t know, there is so many to choose from.

Muggsy: Oh, I know, I know! St Anger by Metallica.

Maxi: That’s a fucking crap album. One album I can think of basically is anything ever written by Coldplay. Just because he doesn’t
deserve to get that successful by being so depressing.

Muggsy: There are loads of CD’s that should never have been made. Any drum and bass CD.

Maxi: That’s true and I agree but I’m sticking with any Coldplay CD.

NF: Have you ever been sent anything weird or strange by a fan?

Maxi: Actually, it isn’t really anything weird but we get sent pictures on our MySpace page.

Muggsy: I have that on my desktop! It isn’t that weird, just some tart who has stickers across her nipples.

Maxi: It’s quite amusing. I get a lot of web cam pictures. I got this one from a girl who was wearing bra and pants but she had ‘Nothin’
To Lose’ written across her stomach, but she spelt ‘Lose’ wrong, so she had ‘Nothin’ To Loose’.

Muggsy: I think we’ve had weirder stuff sent to us individually before we were in a band. The weirdest thing I’ve ever had sent to me
was my actual girlfriend who swam to my house, because I live on a houseboat. She was pissed and she swam across the River
Thames and she was hanging on to my window, knocking on the window and I didn’t wake up but my sister did and came and told me
that my girlfriend was at the window so I opened it and said, ‘What the fuck re you doing at my window?’ And she said, ‘I want to talk
to you, I don’t want to go out with you anymore.’ This was four o’clock in the morning on my sixteenth birthday and I was like, ‘Why
don’t you just ring me like normal people?’ She was also the one who tried to bite my dick off on New Year’s Eve, but we won’t go in
to that.

Maxi: That’s a whole different kettle of fish.

NF: Wow..

Muggsy: I really hope she reads this. [Everyone laughs.] I’ve told everyone else; everyone I know knows that story and I wonder if it
has got back to her yet.

NF: Why swim across the Thames?

Maxi: You’d think she’d come by the shore.

Muggsy: There is a road that leads to my house.

Maxi: Maybe she just really wanted to make a strong impression.

Muggsy: I don’t know, she’s fucked. She lied about being pregnant to me so I would have to keep the baby and spite my family and she
said ‘Yeah, I’ll keep this baby just to spite your family.’ I have two parents who work and have a flat and you live in a flat with your
mum, you are going to be a lot more fucked than I am. The next thing you know she’s saying, ‘It’s not true, it’s not true!’

NF: Do you have any groupies yet?

Maxi: I don’t know. I had a girlfriend up until about two weeks ago so that was basically..

Muggsy: That was good! I was fine when Max had a girlfriend because that gives the rest of us a chance to get laid. Now he’s like, ‘I
broke up with my girlfriend,’ and I went fucking mad, ‘what are you doing, you cunt? It was fine when you were going out with
someone, but now you’re single and everyone knows you’re single, so what the fuck are we supposed to do? I want to get laid as well,
for fuck’s sake, I’m a bassist! You completely fucked any chance of me every getting laid ever again!’

Maxi: I’m sure though the majority of the time I wasn’t sleeping with my girlfriend, we were just going and getting drunk.

Muggsy: Yeah, I was sleeping with your girlfriend.

Maxi: Oh, shit.

Muggsy: It was good man, trust me. That thing she does with her tongue, wahey!

Maxi: I think the person that gets the most groupies is probably Mick.

Muggsy: Probably Mick? It’s a definite fact. He always goes home with a girl. I think at the moment, the people who want to sleep with
us, just want to sleep with us.

Maxi: Yeah. It hasn’t got to that level yet. I hope we do though, just for the novelty value.

Muggsy: To be honest, we’ve only done seven gigs. I’ve been wanting to be in a band for three years and now that I’m in a band,
people are expecting to see me and most of my friends are coming down, but I can’t shag them.

Maxi: Oh, wait. Should we go in to the story about your immediate family and how..

Muggsy: Oh fuck. Well, because most of the people that come down to our gigs are either my friends or family, yeah, it only took one
gig and one party for my guitarist to shag my best friend, my sister, my cousin and attempt to shag my best friend in the whole wide
world, Sania. Then Jake shagged my sister, my best friend and attempted to shag the other best friend of mine.

Maxi: And attempted to shag your ex girlfriend as well.

Muggsy: Yeah, and then my best friend in the world was trying to shag Max and it’s just like, for fuck’s sake. They get in to all these
problems and they all come to me to try and get me to sort it out and I’ve told them, if they shag anyone else that I know, it’s your own
fucking problem, yeah, if they steal your leg, don’t come running to me asking for a fucking paracetamol. If you’re going to do it, it’s
not my fucking problem.

Maxi: Can I get your gran’s number by the way?

Muggsy: They are both dead. You fucker.

Maxi: I know.

[Everyone laughs.]

Muggsy: Argh! They’ve been dead for ages, they don’t even have any flesh on them!

Maxi: Munging.

Muggsy: Shall we tell them about munging?

NF: We have this rule that if you start something, you have to finish…

Muggsy: I was going to tell them anyway. Last week my friend was telling me, there is this new craze where you go to a graveyard and
you open up a freshly buried corpse and then you fuck it and come inside it and the other person jumps on the stomach and you
measure how far your spunk comes out.

Maxi: I really don’t think that would happen.

Muggsy: It would.

Maxi: It wouldn’t.

NF: It won’t happen because corpses, when they are buried, actually do explode.

Muggsy: Whoa.

Maxi: Ah, wicked.

Muggsy: I can’t say I’ve done it, so I don’t want you to think I have, it’s just what..

Maxi: Say it a bit louder and they might believe you.

Muggsy: It’s true!

NF: It sounds like an urban legend because I doubt that anywhere the new craze would suddenly be necrophilia.

Maxi: It sounds like a lot of effort.

Muggsy: You can’t go and say that about Mick and then put it on the internet about him and his blow up dolls and spunking in them.
There are always girls he can find that are desperate for cock, he doesn’t need blow-up dolls to do it, it costs more, and girls will do it
for free. If he goes to Decadence tonight, he’ll get someone else to do it. And you [Maxi] and me can’t get laid anymore because we
take too many drugs, there is no possible way that we are going to get it up. I was in the Crobar the other week and he [Maxi] comes
running out of the bathroom going, ‘My willy’s gone really small!’

NF: That does insinuate that it wasn’t always really small then.

Maxi: Yeah, exactly.

Muggsy: I’ve never seen his cock before.

NF: But for girls who are going to read the interview..

Muggsy: Yes, we’ve all got cocks that can scratch our backs!

NF: you’ll have all the girls pouring in now.

Maxi: Yeah, I’m sure with all the corpse stories.

Muggsy: And snorting cocaine.

NF: This is our kind of interview, not only have we got fetish but lewd conversations about cock.

Muggsy: Don’t worry. We’ve got a lot more.
Muggsy: ..getting drunk.

[Everyone laughs.]

Maxi: We spend a lot of our rehearsal time tuning the song to
make sure we have them right for when we perform.

NF: Name the one band you would like to tour with, out of
anyone?

Muggsy: Maiden. Iron Maiden for sure.

Maxi: Yeah.

Muggsy: I don’t care what kind of music we play, I want to
play with Iron Maiden for sure before they end up coming on
stage in wheelchairs.
Maxi: The rhythm guitarist was with me and I saw these two guys and thought they were
obviously going to try something, so at least I’ve got my guitarist watching my back. So I
turned around and he had run off.

Muggsy: I was still around the corner having a piss and I turned and saw the rhythm
guitarist running, so I shouted to him to ask where the fuck he was going, he says, ‘Max
has just been jacked!’

Maxi: At that point I just thought fuck him. I have no problem with him whatsoever now,
but it really just wasn’t working.

Muggsy: He was alright, but we just had differences.

Maxi: And he didn’t drink and I didn’t trust him.

Muggsy: Don’t put that in because Mick doesn’t drink..

Maxi: But he knows I don’t trust him. [He laughs.]

Muggsy: Okay, keep going!

NF: What’s the one CD you can’t live without?

Maxi: I’ll let you [Muggsy] go first, so I can think.

Muggsy: Erm..I don’t know. That’s a good answer. Don’t ask me this question! Ah,
probably Black Label Society, 1990 Eternal, just because that