Nothin' to lose Maxi and muggsy

Maxi and Muggsy, written by Red (part 2)

NF: Now you’re in a rock band, are all your ‘school boy’ fantasies coming true?

Muggsy: I wanted to be a Power Ranger when I was in school.

Maxi: I’m trying to think.

Muggsy: I wanted to be the blue one for some reason.
The blue one wasn’t so bad, he was a geek. I must have really
liked him.

NF: What about the pink one?

Muggsy: Come on, we’re not in ‘Towers Of London’.

Maxi: I don’t know, that whole night with the porn star thing,
we did start to feel like, you know, look at us, we’re getting
everything paid for.

Muggsy: We had a pound in our pockets and turned up two
nights later and still had a pound in our pockets.

Maxi: I turned up that night and was thinking that it didn’t
even matter because I couldn’t even afford to get there and I
managed to go through god knows how much of that woman’s
money. It’s kind of.. I think the being on stage part is the best
thing about it at the moment. Also the fact that we get little
backstage areas at the shows.

Muggsy: Very little.

Maxi: They are really little, but it’s nice when you get a
backstage area because it makes you feel really important.

Muggsy: I’m an attention seeker as well and also a stand up
comedian so I just do it to be on stage and get attention, so
being a bassist sucks but oh well.

Maxi: You stand in front of me most of the time, but I think
that’s cool. He always does that, crouches down in front of me
and I sing over him, I think it’s quite cool.

Muggsy: My foot always hurts, I need to lie down. We do
jump around a lot on stage. We aren’t stationary, like Coldplay.
Or Iron Maiden because there isn’t much you can do with a wheel chair.

NF: That’s good though, it gives people something to watch.

Maxi: I know, a lot of the bands I’ve been to see, not the bands that are around on the local circuit at the moment but I’m talking about
when I started going out on the local scene, bands that were playing. When I was watching, the were playing the music and playing the songs,
but they would stop between songs, announce the song, look at each other for five minutes and start to play. And that is something we, as a
band has always been against. We try and have it, well not rehearsed to the point where it looks like it, but we have a part where I’ll talk to
the crowd for a bit, or he [Muggsy] will and then I’ll have a cue, so we can be pissing around for a bit but as soon as that cue comes in,
everyone will come straight in. We try and make it look professional. If you went to see a big band at Wembley and they had to stop
between each song, it doesn’t look good.

Muggsy: And Mick will sometimes go from song to song to song and it isn’t always our choice sometimes. I’ll bend down to get a drink and
Mick will start playing the chords for a new song.

Maxi: We try to make it flow as best as possible so it gives the impression that we are professional and are like a proper band should be and
we are putting on a show.

NF: Don’t ever get lazy, that would be our suggestion.

Muggsy: We are always too drunk to get lazy.

NF [Red]: When I was on tour with a band, we got to see Nine Inch Nails and they were really good, up until the last album.

Maxi: Yeah, I saw them.

NF [Red]: I couldn’t help but be disappointed at the show.

Maxi: I saw them at Astoria and I wasn’t impressed. I’d never seen them before. I’m a fan, but not a huge fan, I have a couple of albums or
so but I thought it didn’t look like they bothered anymore.

NF: I was just shocked that they literally just stood there, when every other time I’d seen them, they hadn’t.

Maxi: The first time I saw The Distillers was when they played that punk festival thing.

Muggsy: They are a good band, come on.

Maxi: Well, they were, they are shit now. They played The Underworld for this punk thing and it was loads of bands playing when they
released the first album and they were all really in to it and then I saw them at Astoria, when they released the last album and it was a
headlining show and they played forty minutes, didn’t talk at all and just walked off stage afterwards.

Muggsy: That’s like Marilyn Manson at Reading. He could not be bothered with the fucking gig. It was his farewell gig as well, then Iron
Maiden came on afterwards and just blew him off stage.

Maxi: That’s the thing with Iron Maiden though. Even if you don’t like them, they manage to blow most bands off stage.

NF: What’s your opinion on the whole Iron Maiden / Osbournes feud right now?

Muggsy: I think Sharon Osbournes a dick. It’s funny that you should mention that because I’ve been organizing something. The next time
we know that Sharon Osbourne is going to be attending a premiere in London, I’ve got quite a few people behind me as well, about forty
and we are all going to turn up in Iron Maiden t-shirts and egg her. I’m going to get in trouble for that, I know I will. I’ll probably get
arrested, but I really want to do it. If I know she is going to be there, I’m just going to go and get drunk because you know you don’t care
when you are drunk.

NF: As long as it is funny, right?

Muggsy: I’m going to make sure that people know I’m in charge of that. Obviously I’m going to get in the most trouble for it, but it will be
fucking good for our band too. Headline, ‘Dickhead throws eggs at Sharon!’ That’s what I’m going to shout, ‘Oi! Sharon, you’re a bitch!
Maiden!’ I’m definitely going to do that.

Maxi: I don’t even know how that happened. I heard about it, but I don’t know the reasons behind it.

Muggsy: I think it was because Ozzy was off a lot, so Iron Maiden ended up heading most of Ozzfest and they were doing really well and I
think they were getting a bit cocky about it, but not that bad.

NF: I don’t think that is what started it. Sharon got pissed when Maiden got to the point where they were calling Ozzy an asshole and
conceited and stuck up.

Muggsy: Ozzy rocks. I fucking love Ozzy.

NF: It was a bad thing to do because one thing about Ozzy is that he is very polite all the time, so that is when Sharon got pissed off and
pulled the plug.

Muggsy: I love Ozzy, but I love Maiden too, so I don’t know, I’m torn.

Maxi: I thought Sharon was cool, but I don’t know, maybe it was the whole Osbournes show, it really ruined Ozzy’s reputation. I hated that
programme.

NF: But on the other hand, it also got Ozzy a lot of new fans that probably never would have been in to him otherwise.

Muggsy: I have two tattoos. One is of three skulls; one has jagged horns, the other a halo and the last one is just called Jeff because I
wanted to name it. Under that, I have ‘Youth Gone Wild’, but it isn’t because of Skid Row, it’s because that’s been my anthem for the last
two years. It’s like my song, well not really but I just thought, ‘fuck it, I’ll get Youth Gone Wild,’ but it’s written so badly that I’m going to a
tattoo removal clinic in Liverpool Street in a couple of weeks. I’m going to get the ‘W’ to look more like a ‘W’ than ‘2 ild’. It looks like a ‘2’
so it’s like ‘Youth Gone 2 ild.’

Maxi: You could probably just have that bit touched up though.

Muggsy: I’m going to have it removed because it looks joined. The other problem I have with ‘Youth Gone Wild’, is what the fuck is it
going to look like when I’m fifty?

Maxi: You could always change it to ‘Youth Went Wild’.

Muggsy: ‘I was..Youth Gone Wild.’

NF: Where do you see yourself in ten years time and what would you have liked to have achieved?

Muggsy: Wearing your clothes and…

[Everyone laughs.]

Maxi: You could start that now! Actually, not after what happened last time..

Muggsy: What happened last time?

Maxi: When you were at Sania’s house and you put on that skirt and little see-through top thing and started prancing around.

Muggsy: Oh yeah, we were, weren’t we?

Maxi: Okay, ten years time.

Muggsy: Driving a Bentley with a white picket fence and four children.

Maxi: I’d like to be doing something in music, I guess. Ten years time, either that or hopefully not being dead.

Muggsy: That’s a long shot. I hope in exactly ten years time, we’ll be sitting in an apartment in L.A, like this, being interviewed like this,
where we can smoke and we’ve got porn stars bringing us cocaine on trays.

______ Smoke break _______

NF: Okay, we have some questions just for Maxi now, so Muggsy, you can sit back and drink beer.

NF: How did you get started Dj-ing?

Maxi: Basically one of my best friends Shaymus ran a night called, ‘Fucked By Rock’ and it originally was going to be three Djs and he just
asked me if I wanted to come and do a guest spot for a laugh and I said I would. I’d never done it before in my life, I turned up on the night
and found out that two of the Djs weren’t coming so I was going to have to do half the night. I barely knew how to spell Dj at this point in
time! It just went from there, after that night, he said that it had been really cool and asked if I wanted to just become a part of it, we did it
in different places but eventually Pat from The [Intrepid] Fox offered us to do it there. Angel used to do every Saturday night at The Fox,
but he wanted time off to do other things so Pat just offered us instead. That’s been about eight months now. After that I got to know
Angel. I’d been friends with him for a while, but once I started Dj-ing, he’d come down to watch and asked if I wanted to do some Dj-ing
with him. Through that, I ended up doing Inferno, from that, I got in contact with Ron and he asked if I wanted to do Submissive State
night because Angel recommended me for that.
I now have a lot of other things that I’m planning to start up with other Dj’s, but it is also jumbled about at the moment with band stuff and
having other commitments.

NF: Where do you most enjoy Dj-ing?

Maxi: Probably The Fox actually as the best place. Usually when I Dj at Inferno, I’m on first and it’s pretty dead at that time. I still have
fun doing it and it’s cool, but The Fox is cool because on any given night..obviously there have been bad nights but normally it is quite
packed and people turn up and just want to have fun, so there is always a good crowd there.

NF: Every time I’ve ever been to The Fox, even if it is in the middle of the day on a Saturday, it is always packed. What is the one song you
always get asked to play?

Maxi: He [Muggsy] always asks me to play Tuff ‘American Hair Band’ and I always play it because I love that song but one song I always
get asked to play.. A lot of people come u to me and ask me to play Pretty Boy Floyd all the time and I do occasionally, but a lot of the time
I think for fuck’s sake, not again.

NF: Which Pretty Boy Floyd Song?

Maxi: They always want ‘Leather Boys With Electric Toys’, but no! It’s one of those songs with a really long intro, so I have to figure out
where to put the timer on and I can never be bothered to remember what time I actually need to put it on, put I seem to get a lot of Pretty
Boy Floyd and Motley Crue too, but I play them a lot anyway so it’s not that big of a deal.

NF: Who do you enjoy Dj-ing with and who do you dislike Dj-ing with?

Maxi: I probably have the most fun Dj-ing with the guy I do ‘Fucked By Rock’ with, Shaymus because he is one of my best friends. We
always do very different sets, we are in to the same things but he plays a lot of the heavier stuff, like Dark Angel, semi death metal stuff and I
go in to playing Rock ‘N’ Roll. Not always so much of the Glam stuff, although on the odd night, I will be up for it but I play Swedish Rock
‘N’ Roll, like Backyard Babies. It’s a nice mix because he plays one side of it and I will play something different, like Megadeath or Metallica
and we make it so that it flows. The worst person I’ve Dj-ed with. To be honest, I haven’t Dj-ed with that many people, I have a few
problems with the other people who do ‘Fucked By Rock’, that will probably get me in trouble with some kind of people, but I don’t mind
because they already know my opinion on it anyway. They just don’t have as much commitment as me and Shaymus because we are always
there and there are times when they don’t turn up.

Muggsy: Do you get paid more for that?

Maxi: Yeah, we get paid more if they don’t turn up. What’s annoying is if they turn up and
we’ve done an hour and a half each and they each do twenty minutes and we have to split the
money evenly between all of us, which really pisses me off.

NF: I think I’d have problems with them too. Name one person you would like to Dj with? It
can be someone dead or alive or someone who doesn’t Dj at all.

Maxi: I have to be lame and say Nikki Sixx, that’s the only person that I can think of. I’ve always
been let down by bands Dj-ing. I heard the Jyrki from The 69 Eyes was really good, but I didn’t..
I think I just got really drunk and didn’t end up turning up. I was supposed to be there. I’ve seen a
lot of bands Dj and it always seems very similar to what they play anyway.

NF: Okay, we have some questions for Muggsy now. Do you suffer from the bass player’s curse?

Muggsy: Yes, I do. I didn’t actually know what you meant before but I was just thinking about it
and the first two bass players I was thinking of was actually Nikki Sixx and Cliff Burton and Nikki
Sixx almost died and Cliff Burton did die, so I think I’m quite lucky that I haven’t suffered that
much.

NF: Not yet.

Maxi: Give it time.

Muggsy: I do get in to quite a lot of trouble. The most recent one was I moved in to St Margaret’s which is near Richmond, a really posh
area and I don’t really know how it happened, but I ended up in this convertible after this shit club in Soho, pilled and coked off my face and
the guy was driving and was like, ‘I want to go and get laid,’ so we got one of the numbers off a phone box, rang them up and found out they
lived in a street near where we were. We went down there and he told me that he was going to get laid first and I should wait in the car and
then I’d go in. So I thought, fuck it, I’ll just pretend I’ve got laid because I don’t have any money and once again, I can’t do anything because
I’m on so many drugs. So nothing was going to work if you know what I mean. I was sitting there for a few minutes and this guy opens the
door to my mate and told him to go in, so we went in and we were sitting there with this pimp, the prostitute and a maid and the maid left
and we were sitting there. For some reason, when anyone else came in, we had to go and hide in the back room and she went out and did
her stuff.

For some reason, this prostitute actually quite liked us and dropped her Canadian accent and was more of…like a person. And so we sat
there for four hours drinking Jack Daniels and snorting cocaine and I went down to the shop with the pimp to go and buy more alcohol and
the pimp said, ‘look at this,’ and he showed me an AK-47 machine gun and said that was what he used when he went on his jobs. Then he
tried to get me to go for a drug deal, like be a dealer at one of these clubs and I’m thinking, ‘yeah, that’s a good idea’, because I was off my
head on drugs and was like, ‘yeah, I love you man, let’s hug and do drug deals together!’

Then the prostitute brought cocaine from the drug dealer and gave it to me and as the maid came in, she gave me the cocaine and told me
to hide it from the maid, so I did. I hid it in my top pocket. Then I really didn’t want to go down and get laid, it turned out that we were, me
and my mate, were supposed to go down and have sex with her together. He’s not really my mate, actually a cunt, so it’s a bit different and I
said I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t do it anyway, but especially not with him there huffing and puffing on the other side of this woman. He’d
already paid four hundred quid for us to do it, even though I’d said I didn’t want to.

slept for two days and told me to just come and lay down so I did and she told me to turn around so I did and she put her arms around me
and then she leant over and whispered in my ear, ‘I love you, I really fancy you,’ kissed my cheek and then went to sleep.

I was just lying there with this prostitute wrapped around me thinking, ‘where the fuck am I?’ It’s now two o’clock in the afternoon, I’ve had
the fear of death in me, I’ve sent my friends round to my house to get my sister, sending them a text saying if they didn’t hear from me in an
hour to find a hiding place, not to call me, whatever they do, not to call me or we might die, this is my hour of need. And I’m sitting there
being hugged by a prostitute snoring in my ear and then I managed to slip her arm off me and get out of the bed and I don’t know why, but
I kissed her on the cheek and said, ‘bye love,’ and she went, ‘mm, bye love,’ and then I fucking ran.

Then on top of that when I got home, I had to look after my sister because my parents had gone to Turkey and then I rang my flatmates in
St Margaret’s to tell them I didn’t think they should come back here because I’d put the fear of god in to everyone by telling them we had
the mafia coming after us.

And on top of that, I did this accidentally, because I don’t remember doing it, I shagged the guy’s girlfriend.

Maxi: So, to answer your question, yes, he does suffer from the bass player’s curse.

Muggsy: And then this guy’s girlfriend who happened to live with me who was also involved in this prostitute thing and I was going from
work to work, because I worked as a roadie and I had to go from two different locations. I saw the car outside my house and I said, ‘what
are you doing?’ And they started running after me, they’d actually come to my house to beat the shit out of me because I’d told people
about the prostitute thing and shagged his girlfriend which I didn’t know she was his girlfriend, I thought they’d broken up and they were just
messing around. I thought it would be fine but it wasn’t so I jumped on my bike and rode off and I spent a month and a half sleeping on my
mates sofa hiding from them because I didn’t want them to come to my house and beat the shit out of me.

Two days ago, I was in the pub with them and they were buying me drinks and we’re all happy now.

NF: He beats Eric. You actually beat Eric. Eric Griffin.

Maxi: He has crap luck. I dragged him to Slimelight after Decadence one time.

Muggsy: Who’s Eric Griffin?

Maxi: The bassist from Murderdolls.

Muggsy: Oh, yeah. The thing was, that whole day we’d been
arrested, fucked up, got a prostitute, wasted 400 pound, been
shown guns by a mafia guy, left with the fear of death got
everyone to hide my family. They also had my last name
because I’d said it and no one can pronounce it, which is
why everyone calls me Muggsy. Then I got a prostitute to fall
in love with me, shagged a drug dealer’s girlfriend and then I
was homeless for a month and a half and now we’re friends.
When they read this they will kill me, because they came to my
house to beat the shit out of me because I’d told one person.

Maxi: Hopefully they are not Noizefront fans.

Muggsy: Someone is going to find them and say, ‘Oh, you
should read Muggsy’s thing in Noizefront.’ Okay, that was it,
next question.

[Everyone laughs.]

NF: Okay.

Muggsy: I have a bad foot as well, that’s another thing.

Maxi: That kinda pales in comparison though.

NF: What made you decide to play bass, rather than guitar or vocals?

Muggsy: That wasn’t my choice. We were at Motley Crue and my mate Erin, who was the one that ran away from Max. We all started
talking at the gig and Erin got the drummer and me and Max all together and… Well, we felt bad about kicking him out because he brought
us all together, but you know, it’s a business. Mick asked me if I played bass and I said no, I’m a guitarist and Mick said that they didn’t need
a guitarist so Erin kicked my foot and said, ‘you should fucking play bass,’ I said I couldn’t play bass but he told me it was really easy and
only has four strings and is easier than being a guitarist and that I should just fucking say yes. So I was like, ‘Yes!’

So it wasn’t my choice to be a bassist and I still don’t have a bass guitar or a bass amp, I’m borrowing my friends ex-girlfriend’s bass at the
moment, which I’m not intending to give back. I find bass a lot easier though because I can drink more before hand and hen play one string
through the whole thing, throw the devil horns and pull stupid faces, so I enjoy it a lot more than playing guitar. It does mean I get less sex.

Maxi: That’s not always true though, the bassist sometimes get more, I’m pretty sure Eric [Griffin] gets more than Acey [Slade] does.

NF: I’m pretty sure Tim Skold gets more than the majority of the rest of any band he’s ever been in.

Muggsy: But I don’t look like that and no matter what you do, you can’t beat androgyny.

Maxi: Oh, shut up.

Muggsy: Ah, you [Maxi] hate it when I say that, but you know it. If you had tits, I would as well, mate.

NF: You guys are still actually sober.

Maxi: We get much worse later.

Muggsy: Much more entertaining but more incoherent, I’d be trying to snort something off your table.

NF: Tell us a random fact about anything.

Muggsy: Penis’s get bigger the more aroused you are.

NF: That’s not really a random fact.

Muggsy: It as kind of random. Were you expecting that?

Maxi: Where’s the stop button?? Okay, a random fact. About the band or anything?

NF: Anything.

Maxi: Darren Angel is actually really, really nice.

Muggsy: And he is actually older than ten. Sorry Angel. I can’t do this, we used to play this when I was younger and you had to give a
random fact or you were thrown out of the circle and I said something about Motley Crue. The only thing I can think of is Ice Caps and
Woolly Mammoths, I don’t know why, there is no fact about them.

Maxi: They are a fact themselves to a certain extent.

Muggsy: Shit, all I’ve got is woolly mammoths. I’ve got a big book in my room at home called the ‘Big Book Of Amazing Facts.’

NF: Have you read it?

Muggsy: I’ve read it, but now I’m under pressure. It’s very easy to tell people stories but to tell a fact about stamps and I can’t.

Maxi: I have a few facts now.

Muggsy: Go on then.

Maxi: Darren Angel is really nice.

Muggsy: That’s not a fact.

Maxi: It is. It’s one of those misleading facts people don’t believe.

Muggsy: English, English. They [Noizefront] speak it and they are from America.

NF [Red]: I’m from America.

NF [Em]: I’m from the UK.

Muggsy: That’s probably why you [Em] don’t have the accent!

NF: Haha, yes.

Muggsy: I sucked my thumb up until the age of seventeen and that’s not a joke, that’s a fact. Is that good enough?

Maxi: It’s kind of a joke as well though, when you think about it.

Muggsy: I just miss the nipple. Next question!

NF: What do you do to relax?

Maxi: Think of facts.

Muggsy: Listen to James Blunt while masturbating in to a bath.

Maxi: I wouldn’t say listen to music because when ever I do, it doesn’t actually usually relax me.

Muggsy: What about James Blunt?

Maxi: Okay, there is another fact. You can say a famous name to me, anyone in he world and they could be really famous and I probably
won’t know who they are. Only a few weeks a go did I find out who… Shit, I can’t even remember the names.

[Everyone laughs.]

Muggsy: Up until I was eighteen, which was a year ago, I thought Belfast was in the Middle East.

[Everyone laughs.]

Muggsy: Well, no one fucking told me. When people would say about people dying in Belfast, it always seemed like there was Iran, Iraq
and Belfast so I thought it was over there too. Then I was watching the news and it said about trouble starting in Belfast and it showed a
map of Great Britain and obviously Belfast and I told my dad that wasn’t where Belfast was and it told me it was. So I was like, ‘Oh, fuck!’
Now I’ve forgotten what the question was!

NF: What do you do to relax?

Maxi: Watch Simpsons.

Muggsy: Me too. I watched forty-two episodes of Simpsons when my friend left me stuck in the house. She went to college and then got
pissed and completely forgot I was there.

Maxi: We don’t relax often.

Muggsy: I was off work for three weeks reading Harry Potter books and then I went to Decadence, which is a club. I told everyone that I
had to leave to go and save someone, feel asleep on top of a truck, got arrested, tried to pass myself off as Harry Potter. Then I went back
home via Tottenham Court Road, beat the shit out of myself to the point where people were trying to help me, even though I was punching
myself in the face, then got a taxi, then got home then head butted a bin to make it look like I’d been mugged. I’d lost my phone by my own
accord, but I thought I was going to get in trouble with my parents because I’d lost my phone.

NF: What kind of movies do you like?

Maxi: Airheads and Wayne’s World.

Muggsy: Me too and Titanic! It rocked, I don’t even like the part where it sank. Max hates me for that and tells me to get out of the band.

Maxi: Red Neck Zombies too.

NF: Do you believe in ghosts and have you ever had a creepy experience?

Maxi: I don’t believe in them and never had a creepy experience either.

Muggsy: Never had a creepy experience, but my dad had when his dad died and visited him at the dining room table and told him to look
after the family and then he disappeared. My dad woke up standing next to the dining room table.

NF: Which of the Seven Deadly Sins do you think best represents your personality and why?

Maxi: I don’t know which to choose, I’m thinking about it now..

Muggsy: I think Gluttony.

Maxi: I think I’d have to go with Sloth, Lust and Gluttony, so Slustoney?

Muggsy: Gluttony because of Pom Bears! It’s like when you have a pack of Quavers and you think you’ll have one but you decide to have
Pom Bears instead because there is more Pom Bears in a pack than Quavers and you have one and think, ‘oh, that was tasty and salty and
lovely’ and you just want more little bears shapes and so you have another one. But there is only six bags in a multipack, so you take another
and think, ‘oh, I like Pom Bears, I’ll just take another pack,’ and I’ve just watched the first half of the Simpsons and there’s a break and that
gives me time to go and have another pack of Pom Bears while I have a beer.

Maxi: I think if we are getting on to Pom Bears, then I think we have to add a little bit of Wrath in there too for me because I’m quite
vindictive towards them and I bite their heads off first before I eat anything else. Or I might take their arms off so that they have no arms..

Muggsy: The reason I love them so much is because I don’t eat them one by one, I put my hand in to the packet and pull out forty and
put them all in my mouth at the same time.

Maxi: Is that so you can’t see their faces?

Muggsy: No! They just taste so good and they say, ‘eat me!’

NF: Okay, rapid questions for you now:

Maxi & Muggsy: Guns ‘N’ Roses.

NF: Vodka / Whiskey?

Maxi & Muggsy: Whiskey.

NF: Inferno / Submissive State?

Maxi & Muggsy: Inferno

NF: The Devonshire Arms / Intrepid Fox?

Maxi & Muggsy: Intrepid Fox.

NF: Lemon / Vanilla?

Maxi: I’d say lemon, but now I know lemon is kinky.

Muggsy: Lemon!

NF: Okay, kinky or not?

Muggsy: Find out.

[Everyone laughs.]

Maxi: Well, Muggsy got slapped on the ass with a snake so..

Muggsy: I’ve been tied to my bedposts..

Maxi: I said lemon but that was before I knew whether it was a kinky or not question. Okay, lemon. But I don’t really know if I am, it
depends on how drunk I am.

NF: More serious questions now, what is your opinion on Hurricane Katrina and how it was handled?

Muggsy: It appeared very badly handled because that was how it was shown on the news, but to be honest, I don’t pay that much attention.

Maxi: I really wanted to go to New Orleans because it seemed like a really cool place.

NF: They were getting really cocky about it.

NF [Red]: I’ve worked Ozzfest when I was touring with Manson and
out of all the concerts I ever did, it was a huge big family and the food is
incredible, the people are incredible. You are treated like part of the
family, really there is no animosity at all, not with the road crew or
anything and they were fine with them going off about Ozzy not doing
the show. It got personal when they [Iron Maiden] basically started
saying that they were mistreated, they weren’t being fed properly. I’m
going by the news though, I didn’t have any contacts with this event
personally, but the thing is when you are being paid $85,000 a night.

Muggsy: I would like Burger King and KFC then!

NF [Red]: But when you start going on stage and insulting the people
that are paying you $85,000 a night, it isn’t very intelligent, but Sharon
just got pissed because they [Iron Maiden] were going off on stage for
weeks and that is why she pulled the plug.

Maxi: It doesn’t sound that bad actually, I just thought she didn’t like
Iron Maiden.

Muggsy: Well, I like Iron Maiden and I will not hear a bad word said
about them! It got really bad by the end, they were talking about it in
Classic Rock, that one show, right near the very end that Bruce came
out with the British flag saying that, ‘These colours don’t run.’ And I
don’t mean to be horrible or anything, but Americans don’t want to see
someone little British guy with the flag, it would piss everyone off. I don’
t think that was the best thing to do in America.

Muggsy: I saw that programme a little while a go on British TV where a
journalist had this little microphone that squirted water at people. She did
it to Sharon Osbourne and Sharon went and got a bucket of water and
threw it over her and she was arrested and spent three days in jail or
something. So you really don’t want to fuck with Sharon Osbourne. I don’t
know though and we won’t know unless we tour with Iron Maiden, [he
crosses his fingers], and if we do tour with them, then I’ll fucking ask them.

NF: Have you got any piercings or tattoos?

Muggsy: I have tattoos.

Maxi: I wanted to get my eyebrow pierced but decided not to.

Muggsy: Emo.

Maxi: It wasn’t, it was before Emo. I never really got in to that. I thought
it would look cool but then I changed my mind and just thought, you
know what? Nah.

I went out and sat in the car and he came running out, saying we had to go
and as we drove off we realized we still had the cocaine and he was
convinced that we had the mafia chasing us. When we got back to my
house, we thought the mafia were going to kill us and the guy that I knew
that was a drug dealer thought the mafia was after us, so he flushed all his
drugs down the toilet and ruined his whole business because he saw two
people outside in a car. We had to jump out the window, get in the car, go
back and apologise and it just turned out to be two Japanese guys, refilling
their car from a can of petrol.

See how much paranoia we have?

We went back to apologise and it was fine. The most surreal part was when
we went back and they started worrying that I’d had too many drugs, so the
prostitute took me downstairs and rang a drug dealer to see what to do with
the guy that was burning up on coke and pills. She put me in the shower and
I’m standing there naked in the cold and so I asked her if I could help her
because she was watching and she said she was going to wash my back and
jumped in the shower with me and starts scrubbing me down. It was fucking
weird, I’m being washed down by a prostitute.

She went in to her bedroom and I asked if we could leave and the other guy
picked up the maid and was shagging her and told me to go in and see the
prostitute. So I went in and saw the prostitute and said, ‘what do you want?’
She said, ‘come here and lie with me!’ I said I just want to go home, I hadn’t